WHO VINDICATED BODE?

Over time, I’ve developed a habit, maybe bad, of re-reading old newspapers, with the aim of redigesting and analysing them if necessary. No wonder, a lady once called me the news scavenger. The 17th day of December, 2013 was definitely not to be different. With thoughts of the acquittal of BG in mind, I quickly launched the bookmarked pages of my favourite newspapers, cursorily read through and paused at the story of Bode George's acquittal, with keen attention on the part where he took time to thank his stars for his "vindication".

The news of his acquittal by the Apex Court of Nigeria didn't come as a surprise. Rather, a sense of expectation had filled my mind knowing full well the facts of that case and the likelihood of his legal vindication. Legal I said, legal!

Caveat! This piece has absolutely nothing to do with the wisdom, rationale or otherwise of the Supreme Court’s ruling because of I am certain that such venture would only be akin to an idle rant. More so, it’s the Supreme Court; The Infallible Supreme Court! Besides that, I agree in part with the Court's reasoning and basis for the decision.  I'd focus my attention on BG's statement entitled "Glory to God Almighty", where he claimed to have been vindicated by the goodness of the Lord".

It beats my imagination as much as it overwhelms me that we now live in a society where shame now wears a proud face and crime now puts- on the holy garb of grace and righteousness. An era wherein people are free to steal, loot, kill, defraud, embezzle, and vandalize to make money and they boldly showcase their wealth, even in holy places,  simply because they got away and were never caught.

We now live in a society where individuals with sterling and enviable qualities are perceived as senseless, stupid and total failures with a grossly negligible view of life. How sickening!!!

It sickens the mind to note that the average Nigerian believes crime and criminality isn't such a bad thing after all, so long he makes good money in the end. As a result, individuals feel free to amass for themselves, wealth large enough and meant for an entire nation.

It is as much a shame as it is grotesquely appalling to hear such a statement in a flagrant display of shame. Knowing full well the fact that his acquittal was basically 'technical' and for the sake of not laying down a dangerous precedent.

High lighting the rationale behind his acquittal, the Court in its superior wisdom, per  Justice Fabiyi stated that

“The charges framed against the appellant in respect of splitting contracts and disobedience of guidelines in Exhibit PR is unknown to any law written at the material time. They rest on nothing in the face of the provisions of Section 36(8) and (12) of the 1999 Constitution”

No doubt, the wisdom and sanctity of this particular ratio cannot be faulted on the 'Law' basis on which it was hinged. It is of sound legal reasoning in line with the provisions of the 1999 Constitution and most laws of the world as well as common sense.

What remains a mystery to me and is how every other offence for which BG and others were charged such as “Abuse of Power” and “Disobedience of Lawful Order” under the Lagos State Criminal Code Law (enacted in 1914) was lumped together and practically swept under the carpet. Surely, these two offences existed in a “written law at the material time”. They do not rest on nothing in the face of the provisions of Section 36(8) and (12) of the 1999 Constitution.

More importantly, it does not derogate from the fact that such offences bothering on corruption are basically crimes against morality and not law in actual sense. Also, notwithstanding the fact that splitting Contract as an offence now, was never one under the Public Procurement Act 2007 such act, whatever name styled still bothers on corruption. It offends morality and a perpetrator of same should be made to feel the heat of some moral guilt. Such a person should hide his head in shame rather than scamper to the Press to herald the 'hand of God' in his affairs. God is pure, and has absolutely nothing to do with corruption of any sort. A breach of a moral code is a breach; irrespective of the fact that if offends no written law at the time. His comments about vindication and being saved by God from the claws and machinations of his detractors couldn’t be more embarrassing and distasteful.

For instance, the mere fact a rapist, serial killer and arsonist escapes the law simply because those acts were     performed only a few days or maybe months before a legislation criminalizing those offences are enacted does not automatically mean he remains enrolled on the list of saints or that his crime against morality becomes any less detestable. There couldn’t possibly be a more ironic scene than of such a person thanking God for his vindication.

Imagine a cyber fraudster alluding to his moral uprightness simply because cyber crime as a relatively new offence in the late 90s had zero legislation of the issue.

With decisions like this, one is forced to wonder how successful the fight against corruption would eventually pan out.

PS: For the records, Congratulations to him for the successful removal of the tag "Ex-convict" and its attendant benefits from his appendage!

Nigerian Ladies Now Love Polygamy.

Firstly, I'd plead with my readers to permit the gross fallacy of generalisation this caption conveys and simply take the message and not the messenger. after all, this fallacy could not be compared in terms of its grave error to the University of Nigeria, Nsukka slogan that says "A UNN graduate is ahead you, naturally"! This statement is as wrong as Ashley Phelps Young is an impulsive Diver!

I grew up with the understanding that polygamy connotes a man's willful act of taking another wife, whilst still married to another woman.To that extent it was roundly seen as a man thing-as one of those inherent vices men naturally possess, and a strong evidence of their inability to remain monogamous, faithful and committed to one partner in a relationship.

Consequently, the average woman detested polygamy and polygamists. Also, the 'new or Second wife' was usually seen as a home breaker, a devil, a demon sent from the fiery depths of hell to come destroy a peaceful home.

It had always been a thing of shame and embarrassment for women who got married as second wives.

It was more common amongst uneducated or 'not very exposed ' women and mostly those on whom age had begun to heave the societal pressure to get married, which in my humble opinion, is both senseless and unnecessary. Marriage should never be made a compulsory ingredient, requirement or sine qua non for a fulfilled life, or as the yardstick for a great woman. For ladies who strongly feel the urge to procreate and nurse babies, well, I'm sure they know what to do! I'm sure to write about this soon, but till that day comes, with Polygamy shall we now continue.

Thus, desperation was basically the cause.

However, trend today seem to vary. Times have changed and certain norms and beliefs seem to have been smashed to smithereens, gathered again and grinded into a pourri of immorality and shamelessness as ladies are now a lot less embarrassed at the notion of being concubines and second wives.

This thought was triggered by the sight of a few beautiful ladies ( trust my judgment; when I tell you about beautiful women ) known to me,  living as concubines but with obvious dreams and aspirations of being elevated to the status of Wifehood.

Quite often I've heard them pray and even talk aloud about their faith and hope in God to give them "their own men" and give them kids next year.

Now that begs for two, just two questions; viz

1. What men could they really be referring to as their own?

2. If it’s a different man from the one they are currently entangled with, that's fine, but then, would they be comfortable if he keeps concubines too or if the practice of concubinage continues?

Going by their constant reference to these men as their "husbands", it is easy to see that when these ladies talk about "their own men", they couldn't possibly be referring to any other person but that husband of another woman. Imagine the farcical world we live in! That a young woman hoping to have a monogamous home and not share her husband with another, would call someone else's husband, “her man” , that to me is the height of absurdity.

Attempting to answer the both questions together, as they tend to overlap, my reasoning is that these ladies, like a host of others these days have settled well with the choice of polygamy and concubinage rather than a monogamous marriage as some might be forced to think.

Furthermore, even if they finally find themselves in a monogamous set up, one possibility would never be remote. That is the likelihood of sharing their loving husbands with another damsel out there, who has been caught up the whirlpool of modern day women's acceptance of polygamy.

Granted, perhaps many would escape the long arms or nemesis, but the likelihood of its success can never be disregarded. Its even very common today to see second wives and concubines become so defensive and fight tooth and nail to prevent a third or another mistress from gaining entrance. They try to burn the polygamous bridge soon after they get into the home so as to prevent further intrusions, rather than allowing the ‘polygamous goodie’ pass on to the next willing Nigerian Girl who Loves Polygamy too.
Another common trend these days is that where mistresses wear and flagrantly display a self- procured "aboki dey sell am"  'engagement' or wedding rings. There could possibly be a better definition of the word "self deceit"? I doubt so!!!
In totality, the point I have strove to make here is that the quest for marriage or being married should neither be at all cost nor done with full recourse to desperation and disregard for God or morality. It should never be seen as a do or die affair, and the need to refrain from serving on others meals which we would not want to be served with should never be trampled upon.

by Onyeka Ehiwuogwu
edited by Ngozi Ehiwuogwu ( The 1st Lady). 

A BRIEF ROUND UP ON THE JIM IYKE DELIVERANCE DRAMA.

The last few weeks has seen the entire media, blogosphere and rumour mill beaming with the somewhat comical/ melodramatic event of actor Jim Iyke's deliverance at the Synagogue Church of all Nations.

Getting delivered for sure isn't such an issue to get fussy or agitated about, especially when viewed against a backdrop of modern day miracles and Christianity. My reservations towards modern day miracles and of course Churches are well established and presented in neon light, but that, surely is talk for another day.

To quickly round up this episode, I'd endeavor to break my thoughts into several subtopics, viz;

1. Don't Celebs get Possessed? Or Since when did Demon Possession become Status based?

Demon possession to the best of my frail knowledge has never been status discriminatory. Nowhere has it ever been established that demons or evil spirits carefully cherry pick  their victims or persons whom they find attractive to afflict. I'd say it’s a 'random' takeover of the victim's faculties without much recourse to whom he is. Thus, regardless of Jim's status as a celeb, the propensities of demon possession of him , are in my own humble opinion, far from remote!

That dude is known for several strings of violence and extreme youthful exuberance. Recall how he once Jet Li...ed a certain mouthy DJ Olisah, talk about exaggerated romance/ sexcapades and a host of other issues too numerous to mention. If JI doesn't go through a deliverance session, who will??? Perhaps, the Synagogue should also endeavour to extend its healing largesse to the likes or Fani Kayode, Nasir El rufai and of course Tonto Dike. They would really be doing Nigerians a huge favour.

2. He lives his life on camera:

 The contrast between Western celebs and their Nigerian counterpart is that while the former abhors paparazzi, the latter solicits them. Ask Mr.West, or even Justin Beiber how much they detest photo journalists and their overtly intrusive nature. Here in Naija, celebs feel there is a tense competition as to whose private life is read more in the tabloids and gossip columns.

If other other deliverances are aired on National TV, what then is  the big deal with JI’s?  I’d confess that the only time I ever  watch Emmanuel TV, and most other religious televisions channels on TV are those instances when I'm flipping through to find out which station has a live coverage of my favourite soccer or boxing game? I'm sure that pretty much applies to many people. However, I've happened to stumble upon several deliverance sessions, which to a large extent would get a host of nominations for the Amy Awards.

That said, the simple question that follows is why the airing of Jim Iyke’s session would steer up so much hysteria. For heaven sake, its Jim Iyke; Nollywood's poster boy and the 'male face' of the industry.

Tell me, would it be farfetched to assume that owing to the obvious fact of JI's  receding relevance in the industry, and his undying love for the camera, he might resort to doing just about anything to remain in the public eye rather than slipping quietly into oblivion?. Besides his largely" Unscripted" reality TV show, one could safely conclude that he has barely been of any effect in the recent past- Okay, Yea, he dumped a certain Kentura, and that made news too.  

Finally, the funniest part of this ruse that I felt most was this simple question asked by a shop attendant. "Who says it’s not just another hoax by Churches to fool or swindle innocent and naïve Nigerians"? Granted, for a church like the Synagogue, its status and character speaks volumes, but I still don't see how the likelihood of falsity of the Deliverance could be TOTALLY impossible.  

Well, I never knew I had a partner in 'Church skepticism'. Hmm….

If you really do feel strongly about the genuineness and authenticity of that show, would you bet an arm for it?

One last word: Don't play dodge balls with bullets,  no prize is ever worth it!

Lest I forget, Congrats to my Darling Eagles...the only group of 25 I love more than Arsenal.

TO FATHERS; THE LEAST THEY DESERVE!

The hour was 11.15am on a cloudy Saturday Morning, in the tropical Asaba city. Having spent a couple of hours interacting with the clanging sounds of improvised bar bells and the dumb ones too, I could not help but feel bullish and all fired up. Talk about Ryback!  As I stepped out of the house, heading towards my favourite lounge to go treat myself to a scintillating EPL game, my head was filled with thoughts of how beautiful another Arsenal win would be. Nothing else could bring me more pleasure at that point. Just as I was relishing the thoughts of an eleventh away win for my darling team, I saw a black Toyota Hilux SUV pull up right in front of me with a man helping a heavily ‘loaded’ woman writhing in pain. ‘Labour pains’, I unconsciously murmured to myself .Besides the deep sympathy I felt for her, what struck me most however was the fear, discomfort, pain, frustration, agony and the look of confusion on the man’s face.  

Then it hit me; Fathers!

Often times, we very much rightly dissipate a lot of energy and resources into eulogizing our mothers, and showing appreciation for the efforts they put in towards raising us and molding us into what we turn out to be. Thank goodness, my dear Joy Obayojie once dropped sweet bars on facebook, praising her wonderful dad. That to me is way to go!

With this short piece, I’d strive to establish in our minds, the wisdom in showing gratitude and appreciation to our fathers who unarguably are the foundation for whatever success we might have attained today. For giving our much adored mothers the stage on which they could simulate whatever love, care and motherly commitment to us. This is  because the idea of directing such eulogies at our fathers is totally banished to the realm of rarity and very often, contrary to orthodoxy.

Firstly, it calls for emphasis the fact that it was actually our fathers who 'picked', selected, appointed' and 'partnered' that wonderful woman we once called or now call mother. For that he deserves some Kudos too, because had he made one wrong decision, the outcome (Us ie Me and U) might have been grotesque, ugly and totally disappointing! A complete failure, and we most likely would not turn out to be the 'WE' we so love and are proud of today.

Who chose and paid for the best ante-natal care he could afford, just to ensure you're given the best possible medicare even as a foetus?

Who yelled at those clinically heartless and nonchalant nurses and scolded the senseless egomaniac of a doctor who ordinarily would have seen Mum as "Just another helpless patient"?

Who stood pacing in the hallway anxiously waiting to hear your first cry and an assurance that mum is okay too? And took you home in the most comfortable carrier he could afford then, grinning from ear to ear, and telling every tom, dick and harry who cared to listen that he's now got YOU!...like Wenger's got Ozil!

Who took the next available ride to your school to either warn or smack the hell out of that bully/teacher who always found it worthwhile to pick on you? Or took a handful of military goons to go ruffle up some crazy teacher?

He chose for you those schools you attended where you leant about the “Twinkling Little stars” and a certain Black sheep with 3 bags of wool, Algebra, and of course the perfect English language you now speak!

He first had the dream and made the statement that ' My daughter/son is going to be a Lawyer, Doctor, a Soldier, a world Class banker, an Architect and all those!

Who always left home very early just to catch the cheapest bus ride to work, not because he could not totally afford the more expensive and comfortable buses, or even a car, but he had to save up that money to ensure his little Ada goes to the best school around and procure those “Readers”, New General Mathematics and Elementary Science textbooks?

Who first warned you about cultism and peer pressure, when you got admission into the University? Also about rampaging and pathologically deceitful guys too who would do just about anything lay you?

Who drove, Usman Anone to Big Joe Park by 6am to help him catch a Kano bound bus in his law school days, if not his Super Dad?

I grew up to learn how damaging lies could be and how to be honest at all cost. Thanks to My father, who drilled honesty and truthfulness into me in a somewhat military fashion?

Who gets slapped and pummeled by power drunk military and para-military officials every day, in a bid to ‘hustle’ for family? Okada riders and bus drivers of course; Dads too! 

THE LIST GOES ON...FEEL FREE TO ADD YOURS….

The point remains that regardless of the fact that our mothers naturally and even happily go the extra mile to ensure our survival and comfort, we must not lose grip of the fact that mothers tend to do it in the most 'motherly  and obvious manner, with a flagrant show of love and affection for us. However, fathers 'just do what they have to do' without really having thoughts of the affectionate or emotional effect on you. So when they buy toys, books, and snacks for their babies, it’s usually to make them develop better....and not primarily, necessarily or particularly to DISPLAY their affection or love for you, even though that is also a part of it!

NB; this noble piece should never be misconstrued to mean a campaign against the show of appreciation for our great mothers as any such thoughts is totally alien and could never be traceable to the writer.

SAYANORA!!!

EHIWUOGWU ONYEKA (ZEUS)

For ZEUSTELESCOPE (www.zeustelescope.blogspot.com)

twitter@zeuskachi

Compulsive Wastefulness and Voluntary Contributions in Churches

In my blog post captioned Chaos in Christendom; I registered my utter dismay towards the monetary/financial and material drift of modern day churches far away from the shores of righteousness, charity, piety, morality, humility and even modesty. Nowadays, it’s common to see churches raise funds for harvests, pastor or Reverend Father's house, church development, constructions and building projects, a private jet, or a luxury car.

However, it is very rare,(as rare as it is to hear Fani Kayode talk sense or not being a "scally wag") to see churches make such elaborate and extensive arrangements or efforts to raise funds for charity. Churches never devote two weeks prayer sessions, fasting, fund raisers and donation for charity and helping the poor. At best, what you find in most is a decrepit old box or bucket sitting sorrowfully and looking forlorn at one extreme end of the church, so far away from worshipers that it would take a divine push to make a giver walk that far without having a rethink.

Perhaps we should consider some of these disheartening developments.

Firstly, the Wasteful Ways of Churches;

It might serve no point trying to discuss how much billions of Naira modern day churches lavish on buildings, fixtures, fitting, equipments and facilities, albeit needlessly and extravagant in a grotesquely insane fashion because it is all too well known.

I ask: How does a group Like the Jehovah's Witnesses survive VERY WELL, strictly on voluntary contributions and with zero amount of teachings on giving, tithes and offerings?

It is is not in dispute that denominations like the Catholic, Anglican and a host of Christian groups outsize a relatively small group like the JWs. It is also not in dispute that a large chunk of the cream de la creams in a society attend these orthodox churches, more than their protestant counterparts. That said, we should remind ourselves that if such a small group like the JWs could survive very well on Voluntary Contributions of its members alone and gifts from other congregations, then the bigger orthodox ones should do better with considerably less effort. Unfortunately, the reverse tends to be the case.

In spite of this zero emphasis on giving, contributions, tithes and offerings, JWs still fare very well in their finances and even present a better output in the end.

Also, let the readers not forget that the weekly Awake and Watchtower magazines as educative as they are, are largely freebies, hence they do not form a source of income; rather, they amount to expenses. Don't believe me? Well, in the past few years I've voraciously read close to 300 Awake and Watchtower magazines and other manuals, and the only generous contribution I have voluntarily made is cumulatively about 200 naira, maybe N250. Need I argue further that the worth and cost of those 15page magazines and pamphlets far exceeds 200 naira each?

However, a 2 leaf bulletin in a Catholic church could go for as much as 50 naira. A near worthless piece of paper only useful for bible verses (which we all now have in smart phones and devices), hymns, and weekly announcements  which mostly ends up squeezed or discarded right there in church or soon afterwards. A comparison of a Watchtower/ Awake magazine to a bulletin would leave me defenceless to a charge of Culpable waste of useful time. So, I'd let that pass.

Wastefully Expensive Taste of Complexes and Worship Centres.

"Manifest plainness. Embrace simplicity. Reduce selfishness. Have few desires.”Lao Tzu

The question here is, do we need a gold plated or silver plated door and window to really worship God? Do we, really need a 30 billion naira mansion for church? Does a man of God need to use the most expensive cars or private jets? Does a church of God really require Italian marbled floors or a multi-million naira Glass pulpit? All that begs for an emphatic No!

Each day the media is replete with one expensive yet unnecessary church project or the other.

Perhaps, it wouldn't be entirely bad for us to concede that what matters most in a church is a spacious hall( based on size of congregation), reasonable (not luxurious) furnishing, a neat and decent pulpit, good public address systems, illumination, and proper ventilation or cooling systems!

In my opinion, there is absolutely no reason why a church which should uphold biblical tenets about modesty and humility should become a total parody of what biblical teachings on those virtues really are.

My research into how much a certain kingdom hall cost in Asaba, Delta State revealed that the sum of 15 million naira was expended-which was all sourced  from voluntary contributions and donations. Its unimaginable the kind of fund raisers most churches would embark on to actualize such projects. This days, Churches spend several weeks collecting donations from members simply to raise credulous , hair-raising sums in the name of Church projects. Why waste so much resources on a single project whne other avenues abound where such funds could be pumped into?

What happened to Charity, low cost housing projects for poor members, petty loans to small scale traders, rural evangelism and provision of facilities for missionaries and the host communities?

In Countries like Germany and the Netherlands, football clubs as part of their corporate social responsibilities provide cheap electricity to their towns. Some provide rail stations and bus terminals to ease transportation to and from stadiums. To this extent, it would not be entirely weird for certain well known churches in Nigeria to do elaborate donation services solely for the purpose of raising funds for such projects like refurbishingcertain vital roads and streets, schools, hospitals and prisons.

One would argue that many churches embark on charity, and that we don't see it because they don't go about publishing it. How noble and interesting!

The point being made here does not in any way deny the fact that churches do charity, rather this piece seeks to divert the main purpose of donations, tithes and offering for "developing the church buildings and pastors or Priests’ houses" alone to human development. Mind you, the Church like Government, Commercial and business  sectors,  form one of the strongest pillars of any society. Thus, human development should never be confined to be the duty of government alone. It is a collective duty in which everyone must partake.

In totality, the need for us as Christians to begin to place emphasis on the development of people rather than structures is paramount. We must learn to prioritize human development so as to enable the church grow faster not just in numbers but in the quality of members too. 

DUMBEST POST ON FACEBOOK 2! SIMPLY HYPOCRITICAL!

Sequel to my a previous post titled My Most Ludicrous Posts on Facebook 1, the writer has created this piece to point out religious deceits, and the acts of some social media users that have vowed to wear Christianity a dirty garb.

Verily, I've seen ludicrous post on social media. However, when I find a more thoughtless, parochial, and chauvinistic post, I'd change the rankings, but for now, this remains top on the list of dumb posts.

"Any girl or woman who dresses on trousers is invariably erecting her eternal home in hell". 

The most disheartening fact of this post is that it emanated from a lawyer, trained in one of the finest schools in Nigeria. Well, like the renowned columnist Obi Nwakanma wrote about Femi Fani Kayode,"Take a scallywag to Cambridge, he merely becomes a Cambridge scallywag". So, I'd say,

‘take a moron to University of Nigeria, Nsukka, he merely becomes a UNN moron'

 For someone whose love for stylish women is well known to me, I was numb struck  as I read the post. It is hard to picture what he was thinking when he typed that post on his facebook timeline. For once I thought his facebook account had been hacked and that the post was meant to discredit or portray him in an phallocentric light. When I made friendly attempts to persuade him to remove that post and commented on same, a throng of his fellow sexist hypocrites swarmed at me in attack.

 During law school, this man confessed his strong love for a lady and even plotted steps to get his "dream girl"; one whose dress code was predominantly sexy denim trousers, except when going for lectures and church outings. Thus, I ask, is it that this man liked this lady despite his conviction that she was hell bound owing to her trouser affiliations? Or is that he was yet to read to that point in the bible when he felt so much love for her?

To consider the abject thoughtlessness in that post, we must ask certain questions and strive to provide answers.

Firstly, what happens then to Military and Para-military women, whose job inevitably compels them to wear trousers?

For me the argument as to a lady being clad in a man's outfit or vice versa is firmly strung to societal relativism and cultural orientations. Cultures like the Scotts, Orients and most traditional rulers in Africa take to the use of “skirts” and wrappers as their main regalia. Also, due to its formal and 'always on the move' nature, societies like the US and the entire Western world have evolved to a point where the use of trousers by women is almost inevitable, especially since the Second World War when women were no longer seen as 'wives' and 'mothers' alone. Rather, they were assimilated into the active work force, to work in factories, industries, banks and construction sites. At that point, it became practically impossible to work without the most convenient work gear- trousers and boots. With the spread of trains and coaches, women had little or no choice but to get into sporty trousers to enable them jump alongside the men, and to avoid the likelihood of a Victorian age skirt getting stuck in the rails.

Perhaps, one might also be moved to opine that skirts, wrappers and gowns are feminine outfits, but what about the Pope and priests in the Catholic faiths and religious temples across the world?

The Pope and all other adjunct offices of the papacy go completely clad in cassocks (gown like attires). Would it then be right to chirp that they too are "erecting permanent homes in hell", or are they exempted from the theme of this odious post?

In Muslim societies, turbans or head ties are prominent accessories to men's fashion. Its thus coincides with women's dress code in Southern, West and Eastern Nigeria. With the only difference being size, type of fabric as well as style. That said, one needs no breathalyzer to smell how offensive such a comment is to reasonable people.

Chauvinism is something that should never be campaigned for, displayed or even worse, posted on Social media. It must be left in the solitary confines on the chauvinist's heart because the slightest droplet of it could be frowned at as much as genocides! No doubt, bottling up certain opinions could prove very tasking, but like hygiene, compliance with the law, cooking, exercising, reading, and many other activities of life, we MUST strive to do the needful because the benefit far outweighs the difficulty.

The use of the holy bible to rationalize every form of warped and malnourished ideas must be stopped because besides the misleading effect they have, such ideas and beliefs never stand to the challenge of the simple reasoning. Quoting the bible does not change an unintelligible idea into a smart one. Neither should it be a reason to shut the reasoning faculty like it too is on ASUU strike.

Like my most delectable Ms Vivian Obiejogo  once said, " To whom brain is given, sense is expected".

Nigerians, Christianity and facebook!

It is common today to see posts like "God bless my life this week", "I cover my journey IJN","Lord, give me more anointing today"...and all such Bollocks!

Firstly, I must start by stating that GOD IS NOT ON FACEBOOK or TWITTER! He does not ping or take to social networking like some posts would ordinarily suggest.

You want divine protection, direction, guidance, favour and blessings, and you feel an urge to pray to God for it. You want extra anointing from God, why not take a little time to say a prayer in your heart or kneel in the confines of your room or better still, wait till its Sunday( for some who see church like Uncle Frank Olize’s NTA Newsline show) to say those prayers.

See what The Holy Bible says in Mathew 6:5-6 that “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Why take to facebook and twitter, BBM etc to make a prayer to Almighty ? Could it be that you expect people to know you pray? Or you just want your viewers/friends to endorse your prayers by commenting with a huge "Amen"?I saw a post like this once. I speedily punched "Amen" on my keyboards, and proceeded ask him if he was happy now or wanted anything more!

Common! A prayer, which is akin to asking God for something is a private and sacred exercise which should not be desecrated, joked with or compromised for no reason whatsoever. None at all!

Imagine a situation where your child wants money from you, he goes out with a loud speaker to the balcony of your house or even on facebook to say " Daddy, please I need money for my school fees", in spite of  the fact that you both live in the same house or he simply would have called to ask for it. Any sane parent would rebuke such act. For me, I'd doubt the sanity of such a child. Mind you, this example is even way too insufficient and subtle when compared, because facebook surely covers a wider spectrum of audience.

Such posts are nothing but flamboyant displays of hypocrisy and self deceit.

Permit me to sound judgmental at this point, the fact of my discovery that most people I know on facebook and twitter (for those I know personally) who put up such posts are anything but enviable Christians. They pass for the lip service, 'Lord Lord' kind of Christians whom upon deeper investigation are strapped with all sort of worldliness. They fall short of the kind of Christianity that would make you run  a background  'holiness check' on yourself.

As a near religious skeptic, or better put, one who applies God's given wisdom to religious postulations, I've taken time to come up with a study which reveals  that the bulk of Christian youths whose life REALLY radiate uprightness, fairness, calmness, piety, humility, and so many rare Godly attributes do not labour to convince you of their religiosity, hence they never try to come up with such mundane posts on social media. They sparsely ever howl about or make verbal allusions to their relationship with God, apparently because they understand the sanctimonious and private nature of it. Rather, its commonplace amongst those whose lifestyle gives one cause to doubt his understanding of the bible.

Finally, let's consider this simple poser.

If those guilty of such posts truly believe in the efficacy and genuineness of those super bowl type prayers and that it is really possible to access God via facebook or twitter, why don't they ask God for forgiveness from a grave sin on facebook. Say for instance" please God forgive me for committing adultery today" or "May God forgive me for embezzling public funds, stealing my neighbour's goat, raping, fornicating, lying, cheating" etc.

How about, "God please heal me of this Tuberculosis, HIV/AIDS, or "Please God help me stop these lustful imaginations and addictiveness to pornography" etc?

Nobody ever comes up with such prayer on facebook. Is it that they don't appear in prayers? Certainly not! Instead, they quietly lock their doors and windows, kneel down and make such supplications.

If you could quietly make those demands and requests from your almighty father in private, why then would you decide to come to the market square to ask him for protection if not for hypocrisy?!

Onyeka Ehiwuogwu ZEUS, for ZEUS TELESCOPE;

www.zeustelescope.blogspot.com

Twitter:@zeuskachi

Re Cornelius Ojo's "Wole Soyinka's 'Domestic Appendage' Revisited" Thisday Newspaper,7th August,2013

Reading through Mr. Ojo's view of Professor Wole Soyinka's abusive tirades against people, I appreciated the courage and industry put into the work by the writer. I was largely concurring with his opinion on WS's regular attack on his 'intellectual juniors' with reckless abandon. It takes sheer guts to direct such criticism at someone of the Prof's standing!

However, at the point where he veered off to address the "domestic appendage" and "sheppopotanus" issues, Mr. Ojo in my opinion made a total mess of the entire work like my one year old German Shepherd Dog who would head straight for the mud, soon after a thorough bath, when he began to hinge his argument on the gender and 'motherliness' of madam Patience Jonathan. No doubt it is adorable to give respect to women, but it stands more to wisdom that nobody deserves to be pelted with a WS type of insult, irrespective of gender. The point remains that (and in line with the principles of gender equality), if those words were wrong for a woman, there surely is no reason why it should be less so to a man. His recourse to gender as the fulcrum of his debate clearly smacks of an appeal to emotion, based on the extra sensitivity of gender issues especially when a woman is quickly portrayed as the victim like he laboured to do.

Granted, women deserve more protection, but it must be stated just now that if WS was wrong to have insulted Patience Jonathan, he would also be adjudged wrong to insult any other government functionary in the same style, regardless of gender of the 'insultee'.

He tried to make analogies with James Cameron's "Calm down dear" remark in parliament and the lousy, slack-jawed US mayor who flippantly interrupted the Malaysian president to say that "Malaysian women only go to universities to find husband" Those analogies certainly are non sequitor! They are both of bipolar extremes and do not follow. In WS's case, his "domestic appendage" and "sheppopotamus" jibes were provoked and retaliatory, the examples cited by him were based on the apparently sexist minds the two men against innocent and absolutely defenseless women.

As to his claim about WS showing no respect for women, his domestic appendage statement was obviously directed at the unconstitutional office of the first lady and not the woman Patience Jonathan per se. He never said she was a domestic appendage to her husband GEJ, but that her OFFICE is a domestic appendage to that of the Presidency owing to its unconstitutionality. Let's ask ourselves one question, if and when a woman becomes the President, or Governor of a state and her husband chooses to exercise his role as the 'first Gentlemen' would reference to his office as a domestic appendage still amount to an insult? If not, what happens to the much preached gender equality? If in the affirmative, then Mr. Cornelius's argument becomes totally baseless and akin to an idle rant. The truth of that statement is unimpeachable and hearing it from WS was nothing more than putting the ideas of every Nigerian with a basic knowledge of constitutional law in mind. His comparison with the Yerima child bride issue was plainly the height of  his failure to properly appreciate the job he set out to do in his caption. He clearly behaved like the proverbial hare who got off the block first but hardly made it to the finish line. Furthermore, the mere fact that William Regan's first lady became what he described does not mean that we MUST of necessity tow that part or make our first lady an unruly horse or a pseudo-President.

He slamed the final nail on the coffin when he attempted to take a drift into the Ameachi issue, thus leaving the realm of his write up into the justification of PJ's position. Hear him;

               Ordinarilly,It is politically unwise for a governor to tango with the wife of the president, more so when the woman is an indigene of your state.It is most illogical. A political savvy Governor would see that as an asset to him and his government rather than war-war with her"

No doubt his ideas sound plausible, but  it is fraught with inapplicability to the current Jonathan/Amaechi saga.Its senselessness lies in the fact that it was already politically impossible for Ameachi to 'see PJ as an “asset”, in the heat of a steaming brawl with her husband. Common!

Without wanting to hold brief for Ameachi, because I couldn't care less what becomes of the tussle, the simple question is, with GEJ and Ameachi already at logger heads, how possible would it have been for Ameachi to go on an ego massaging spree on PJ in a bid to avoid her contribution to the war against her husband’s enemy.To me, almost herculean, impossible to say the least!

Finally, he capped his anti WS campaign by highlighting some 'ACN' state activities and happenings! No doubt they ought to be frowned at due to misuse of public funds, but why Tinubu's Lagos and Ekiti alone? ACN held states! What happened to insecurity and terrorism in the North, pipeline vandalisation and oil bunkery in PDP  Southern states, kidnapping in the East and general unemployment, poverty and the corruption drowning the Nation?

Ps: Dear Cornelius, if you strongly feel the urge to defend PJ or attack WS, it shouldn't be done without recourse to objectivity and logical arguments rather than plunging head long into the deep sea bed of emotions and sentiments.

Follow Zeus Telescope on Twitter:@zeuskachi

www.zeustelescope.blogspot.com

Need for Speedy Break Ups:Why We Must Break a Heart TODAY.

 Need for Speedy Break-ups;Why We Must Break a Heart TODAY!

This piece is an attempt to analyze certain intricately interwoven issues bothering on relationships. It adopts a rather unsavory/ unpleasant yet realistic analysis of the reasons why certain breakups are of utter necessity.

Perhaps, I should plead with you that I am totally of the view that unnecessary break ups and dishing out heartbreaks are utterly despicable and sternly frowned at.

Thus, as much as I wouldn't want to be seen in the Jerry Springer love destroying lights, the fact is there is obviously no couch arranged here. So, I won't try to play Oprah Winfrey. Maybe a blend of both though.

So many reasons abound why people end relationships. They include, habit (what some call the “jump and hop syndrome”), sudden incompatibility, family pressure, finance, unfaithfulness and infidelity, mutual discharge, intolerability and for others, self assessment and realisation of risk and the lack of prospects or future.

It is the last reason that this piece is designed to address.

In my usual fashion, let's use a hypothetical case again to approach this work.

Soon after kick starting a love relationship discoveries of unwanted traits about the other partner are made. Traits no one would like to see manifest in their kids. For example, deep egocentricity, male chauvinism and deep seated belief that women rank below men, sexual abuse/violence, lying, womanizing, pilfering, cultism/occultism, infidelity, self-centredness, loquacious and vainly profane man, compulsive wastefulness, abject laziness, explosive anger and violence, cheating in exams and dishonesty, nagging, drug addiction, alcoholism, static youthfulness, disregard for partner's family and friends. The list of unpardonable flaws goes on!

Not wanting to hurt her/him just yet, one continues to pretend and feign deep love for the other. Unfortunately, she's happens not to be as realistic as he is, and maybe out of some senseless societal pressure ON SPINSTERS, she wouldn't mind heading into marriage. For ladies, the usual belief is that he'd change once married. They ignore these beaming signs hoping he would suddenly change once he gets married and has kids. How false!

However, he doesn't share those views, and feels little or no pressure to get married. He's able to see how he'd eventually be forced to derail from marital vows and most probably cheat on her because he never really loved her in the first instance. This ultimately leads to a grand scale divorce...and she becomes a total emotional wreck. Besides divorce, cases of deadly domestic violence are replete in the media and cause lists. For instance, the case of the banker lady that was stabbed about 90 times by her pastor husband, the violent man who burnt his wife to death with an electric iron. Talk about acid baths due to suspicion of adultery.

Now the Question and Analysis.

At what point would it be appropriate to pull the plug? Better put, when would it be right or 'less wrong' to initiate a break up?

My view about some, but certainly not all break up is this; It might be great necessity to sever ties were some of these unpardonable traits are noticed. Regardless of the belief in making your partners change, while some habits can be corrected, one must not forget that certain human tendencies and proclivities are innate and very much genetic, hence unchangeable. Like some would say, "old habits die hard". In the words of rapper Eminem, “some things just don’t change”.

Consequently, once such attributes are observed, it behooves on the observer to take precautionary steps to avoid getting miles deep in the web of emotions. Thus, the most economically, socially and of course emotionally prudent step to take it pull out, albeit gently!

Granted, this may seem  hard and heartless, but let the reader not fail to imagine what would happen if such relationship is nurtured to full maturity and even marriage-sheer Catastrophe, tragedy and total fiasco! For example, if the brutally murdered bank lady had been shown on HD TV the violent proclivities of her husband early enough, one can only imagine the benefit she would have done to herself, her kids, family, friends, employers and of course her husband if she had upon such discovery broken up with him before marriage. That's my point exactly!!

The truth about human relationships generally is that the longer it lasts, the stronger the bond develops. This is even more so when it’s an emotional one.

In the Nigerian society, women are always at the receiving ends of nasty divorces and extreme domestic cruelties. So, where this signs that guarantees divorce, maiming or even death in future are shown in neon lights, nipping the malignant cancer at that point seems the best option.

That said, it wouldn't be totally thoughtless to bid a hasty retreat before it is probably too late. With that in mind, we can quickly argue that we must not always expect every relationship to end in marriage. Or we must not always see break ups as some negative, heart wrenching event which must be abhorred and avoided at all cost. Better a breakup than a divorce or death! Mind you, love deals with good conscience and not pity. If it’s hinged on pity, it hardly stands! Who wants a divorce? Who wants to be stabbed 90 times or ironned out to death by her devilish husband? Surely, no one!
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by Ehiwuogwu Onyeka for www.zeustelescope.blogspot.com

Always Appreciate What You Have

Always Appreciate What You Have!

The call to bar ceremony remains the best day of every lawyer's life. Indubitably so! The joy accompanied is hard to put in words. With the presence of family, friends, well wishers, the indifferent ones and of course enemies in friend clothing, an inductee lawyer really does feel like a King.

In the hall, I sat surrounded by four stunning ladies.Yea, just the way I like em! (I couldn't possibly wish for a better position).With the prettiest right opposite me. As expected, I broke the silence with a calm, boss like exchange of pleasantries and ushered in an suitable topic for conversation. With that, I sat back to listen while she took up the discussion. I listened or at least pretended to be listening. Suddenly she picked her phone and began to yell in Igbo language into the mouth piece. From my little understanding of Igbo language I could quickly tell she was furious with her dad for not making it into the hall before the doors were shut.

While her 'phoneversation' went on, I treated myself to a view of the full auditorium and the sea of heads of friends and family members of the the inductees. At that point, I could feel a cloud of emotion and maybe tears gathering in my head.

Just as it gained momentum I shook my head as if to reassure myself I had to be a man! She beckoned on me and informed me of the fact that her dad had come all the way from Enugu state but still could not make it into the hall. In her words, "he shouldn't have bothered at all"!

Almost angrily, I whipped out my phone and showed her a text message I had sent to my sister earlier when I felt cloudy with tears. It read;

'Just got into the hall now, about to start.

Wish daddy was alive to see this'

Abruptly, she dropped my phone with tears in her eyes and began to sob. So bad she made quite an embarrassing scene for me, as I parried several questions as to what I did to her. Sadly, I lost my white handkerchief in the event too! She picked her phone again and called her dad, saying in Igbo language "Daddy, biko ewe ne iwe o, nga kpo gi ayi puta na ebaa". Translation; "daddy, please, I'm sorry, do not be offended, I'll call you as soon as we leave this place". 
As she dropped her phone, she looked like at me remorsefully and mumbled, "I'm really sorry". I shrugged in acceptance.

Morale? Sorry, that's yours to deduce!
by Ehiwuogwu Onyeka for www.zeustelescope.blogspot.com

LAWYERS- AS THEY COME!

THE CHARGE AND BAIL LAWYER

Ø  His briefcase holds his library. His car (if he has one) is his annex

Ø  The police station is his office address

Ø  Prides himself in the fact that he knows all the officers in the

 police station by name

Ø  Operates with the lowest overhead cost of all lawyers

Ø  Sets out every work day in his bib and collar.

THE TRADING LAWYER –GOOD GARRI FOR SALE!!!

Ø  Has leaflets and information for the next big thing.

Ø A creative trader who avoids flouting rules concerning practice and trading.

Ø      He lives percentages and talks about a cut for every

business he brings to the table

Ø  He’s only phones call away from someone who knows

 someone who can fix a problem for you. 

THE RADICAL ACTIVIST LAWYER.

Ø  Flies towards controversy like a moth to flame.

Ø He’s loud and opinionated

Ø Has direct contact with all the pressmen and stringers

Ø He approaches a case like a proverbial hare of the blocks but rarely

 makes it to the finish line.

Ø Has perfected the art of soap-boxing

Ø Has an opinion on all matters 

The AMBULANCE CHASER

Ø  He makes you see the sunny side of your injury or accident.

Ø  He can turn those crutches for some cool cash

Ø  He believes that every pain can be soothed with a naira note

Ø  He believes in making important decisions, eg, whether

to sue or not, before your vitals have been

stabilized – no time like the present.

The “I AM A LAWYER LAWYER”

Ø  Insists on being called the “Law”, “Barrister”, “Learned Counsel”.

Ø  Sprinkles a healthy dose of latin maxims in every conversation

Ø  Starts out every sentence with ‘ As a Lawyer…’

Ø  Working hard for those important 3 letter ‘Es Ay En’.

THE BUSINESS LAWYER.

Ø  Always turns up in the latest designer suits

Ø  Has not seen the inside of a court room since his

    court attachment as a student.

Ø  Hates to lose any sweat for a case

Ø  Multi- million naira deals gets his heart pumping

Adapted from TAKAii Magazine.

Follow Zeus Telescope on twitter @zeuskachi