Musa and Ideye at The Confederations Cup.

Its Tuesday, the 25th day of June, 2013. One of those days in which you find your table loaded with files but you're bereft of any drive to open one. Which you feel like dashing back home to listen to and maybe just do a  rehash of Bruno Mars's Lazy song. Apparently, I was still labouring under a hang-over from the Confederations Cup disappointment.  

Suddenly, it hit me; Confederations Cup!Yes, Musa and Ideye!

Its often said that a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. This was undoubtedly proven to be true with regards to the Super Eagles outing at the Confederations Cup. Before I proceed to vilify, crucify or pour out vituperatives on anybody (as this write up might turn out to be) it is also pertinent to stack praises on those well deserving of it.

 Coach Keshi; Its easy to recall that the last time Nigeria stood still to watch a game with so much passion, unity and patriotism, evidencing the often hidden existence of our Unity as a nation was at the 1996 Atlanta Olympics. Ever since that spectacular performance, what we've seen in the past years are but flashes of individual brilliance from the likes of Okocha, Kanu, Martins, Aghahowa etc but never a well organized team set up. That said, its plainly undeniable that bringing back such long lost love for National team football is a magical feat to be achieved by only an infinitesimal few. For once in almost two decades, the streets of Nigeria were desolate and deserted and most TV stations were 'OSMIed' simply because the Eagles were flying. For a man whose composure, charisma, discipline, boldness, oozing self-confidence and 'man-in-charge' attitude has restored the spirit of love for National football in the nation, it would be deemed a treasonable felony not to appreciate him. Within months of his widely criticized appointment as head coach of the Super Eagles, Coach Stephen Okechukwu Keshi quickly re-ignited that sense of commitment and dedication that was conspicuously missing from the national team. Besides winning the AFCON trophy in a much dominant and admirable fashion, Coach Keshi also repackaged the beautiful style of Nigerian football which had always been midfield dominance, long range shots, an imposing back four, slow attacking build-up to wear off opponents, accompanied by a sudden bust of pace during counter-attacks. A style of play which greatly suited, and bolstered the flourish of the Chukwus, Taribos, Olisehs, Babayaros, Okochas, Amunikes, Babangidas, Yekinis and ofcourse my favourite Bull.

Watching Nigeria play star-studded elevens like Spain, and a fierce attacking line-up like Uruguay's, it became glaring how much improvement this man had brought to the National team. With a defence line that almost completely quelled all attacking forces of Suarez and Cavani (two of the most feared attackers in World football), I wondered if all other National team coaches we've had in recent past really took time out to select players or just did a random grab bag selection.

Mikel Obi and the Midfield: This man took over the sports headlines of sport newspapers all over the world with the historic tussle between Sir Ferguson and the now 'happy one' even whilst still relatively unknown. His performance at the Confederations Cup once again rekindled memories of the 2005 WYC midfield enforcer in action and why he was such a sort after commodity. His mastery of typical Nigerian style football remains overwhelming to me. With inch perfect passes and surgically precise distribution of the ball, he really did dominate. Too bad those sterling displays were barely ever utilized by the much inept duo of Musa and Ideye who deemed it more pragmatic to ALWAYS shoot before they think.

Obaobona and the Defence line; A home based player with 'limited experience'. That clearly wasn't the case for Oboabona who quite easily bullied the likes of Suarez, Cavani, Iniesta, Pedro to name a few on a regular basis. His partner, Kenneth Omeruo having displaced a towering figure like Joseph Yobo has continued to ooze the confidence of a world class centre back despite his surprisingly young age.

Musa, Ideye and the Attacking Third; Call it instincts, call it experience, but from the moment heard of Emenike and Moses's non participation in the tournament, I was convinced that our chances at the fiesta had been decimated. However, one man took it upon himself to prove me wrong-Nnamdi Oduamadi. Showing so much composure and confidence in the manner of a natural finisher seemed to be like an ember in a somewhat dark tunnel, albeit against the worst defence ever in a senior FIFA competition. Too bad his stellar performance was cut short by an arguably benign looking tackle.

Turning the the most dismal performers; Musa and Ideye. Yeah! they both swore to confirm my worst fears and prediction as to the lack of striking options. I'm forced to wonder how these two men having played in offensive positions all footballing lives, still find it difficult to maintain a certain level of calmness in front of goal, or understand the elementary football principle that goals win you matches, and chances must be converted to win games. As for Musa, I dare to argue that if not for the regular unscheduled drug tests involved in professional football, I would bet my full viscera that his nostrils are not clean. With a blistering pace, enough to outrun any defender in the world, this young man's abject naivety, poor decision making, thoughtlessness, befogged vision, consistent and unrealistic over ambitiousness and rashness, in the final third remains unbeatable...maybe only by a certain Bebe once over-valued by Sir Alex. Ideye on the other hand reminds me of the need to put ones brain in gear before attempting to make any move. Never seen a more profligate striker save for Adebayor and Nicklas Bendtner. A total travesty of confidence and composure. On several occasions, when the over-head Cameras zoomed on him, he consistently revealed an expression on his face which read thus:"heeey!kai, too bad, I was supposed/ trying to do this. Okay I'll try out something else next time. Please just pass the ball to me again, I didn't know what to do then, but I'll score this time". That look appeared on his face a million times. Yet, he'd still repeat the same error. Having played football for many years, like every average Nigerian male, it is of elementary knowledge that striking opportunities must as much as possible be well utilized. Futhermore, when deployed in a 4:4:2 formation, you are being told to pair up/ play with an accompanying striker, rather than doing it all alone in a Didier Drogbalike style. What Ideye opted to do was attempt to play like a lone striker, then turn around to complain to his teammates that the opposing defenders didn't allow him get a good shot on goal like they were supposed to watch him play.

More so, like Torres showed in his goal against the Eagles, when he attacked the ball before Obaobona could make a clearance, the natural instinct of a striker is to get to the ball first before a defender does. Ideye saw himself doing the reverse and hoping a cross misses a defender or vice versa for him to score, rather than playing in front of his marker. Watching the grossly obtuse performance of Musa and Ideye, it brought to mind the fact that the greatest people in life were never really given the best opportunities per se, rather they made the best of the few opportunities they had.

Till next time, let's hope the block  doesn't come again, all we can do is hope for the return of Moses and Emenike as they shake of their injury woes to help the Eagles hit a home run and at least give Nigerians something to cheer for at the Grand finale in Brazil.

PS. Other good actors on the day worth appreciating are Enyeama, Uwa Echiejile, Efe Ambrose, Fegor Ogude, for improving on his tackles, and Sunday Mba, whom despite an obvious lax in form still managed to put up flashes of brilliant displays.

SANUSI'S LOVE FOR KISSES

For the bulk of my esteemed readers who were probably too busy to track down the news of Uncle’s SLS’s penchant for adulterous kisses, maybe this would help you see the picture from a telescopic view.

Premium Times news informed us that twenty minutes to midnight on February 25, 2013, and a day before the board of the Central Bank of Nigeria was due to meet, Governor Sanusi Lamido Sanusi developed a craving for romance—he badly needed a kiss. The governor, married, with children, grabbed his mobile phone and typed out a message.  “Maybe you should come kiss me before board meeting tomorrow,” Mr. Sanusi wrote and then squeezed the send button.

 Reading this episode of Sanusi's alleged sexcapades, I said to myself ; 'Woow, what a smart way to ask for some love'!

 Firstly, besides the humour involved, one would expect that such daring, cancerous and devilishly defamatory publication about a high profile public servant would make counter publications, detailed denials and even writs flying in the opposite direction. At least, if for anything, to save face and try to put up a fight like another disappointing Alhaji ones did having been caught functioning more as a bureau de change agent than as an oil subsidy scam investigator. 

As much as I wouldn't want to convict SLS on this issue without a fair hearing, despite the media being replete with news of his sexual proclivities, one is forced to dwell on the fact that its been well over 10 days since this damaging details were released about the Governor and no concrete effort has been made to debunk the allegations and assertions contained in the news despite its damaging effect. Besides the shamefully ricketty rejoinder published by the CBN, which obviously was nothing more than its PR department hastily putting up a job -saving show to cover its apparent idleness, its hard not to ask the question why SLS hasn't taken any bold step to personally herald his innocence since its an attack bothering on his person. Atleast, its well known that he posseses the verbal ability to achieve that, like he showed when it bothered on cashless banking, Islamic banking, introduction of 5000 naira notes and many more. If anything is known about Sanusi, its his finely honed oratorial ablity and sophistry.This said, it stands shocking to me that he still hasn't taken to the podium in his usual fashion to explain this whirlwind of a news that might well blow him off. Could this just one of those instances where the overwhelming quality of evidence simple makes an accused numb-struck and utterly defenseless? 

 As I read to my utter chagrin and humour the embarrassing post about one of the topmost officials of our much loved malaise giant of a Nation, hopping on spaghetti legs, I began to wonder if we would ever have again any true heroes that would stand and stare integrity in the face. The quality of this news is even more appreciated when weighed against the fact that such a renowned new outfit like Premium times and Sahara Reporters would now too well about the risk involved in such publications if it turns out to be false or baseless. This is even more so when it bothers on immorality or infidelity of a woman. 

To that extent, to savor the humour contained in Premium Times’ expository/investigative news, I particularly enjoyed the part where lady confessed her appreciation of SLS'skill to rekindle dead embers of love and make the biblical dead bones rise again. Hear her; "I had such a wonderful weekend." “You have revived in me what I thought I lost long ago. I thought I lost the passion to love again,” 

Sincerely, for this confession alone, I made a pact with my self not to direct much negative comments towards her. Yeah,call me bias! Those words brings to mind a successful attempt to restart a dead Ford Mustang GT engine revving up to full capacity with a deep roar of appreciation. Its not so common to see women acknowledging the feat of a man's conquest, so as not be seen as loose, cheap, promiscuous or a 'holic'. But Mrs Yaro threw all that to the wind and did what she had to.Ladies, that's a hint from Mrs Yaro.  

However, my only issues against her are alleged adultery, infidelity, wasting taxpayers money, official corruption and the violation of official code of Conduct and official due process. Besides all these, and maybe a few more, I hold no grudge against her. She's free to go! 

The thoughts of Nigeria being run by a bunch of morally bankrupt individuals feasting on the wealth of the Nation like an all-expense paid party would really sicken any humane mind. It hurts to know that while a large chunk of Nigerians are unimaginably poor, those, whose duty it is to fix these conditions have found it pleasurable to ride on, and make the best fortunes form it. Would have loved to continue on this subject, but having now been over-driven by a feeling of passionate anger and disappointment for a bunch of ignoramus that has vowed to keep a Nation so blessed on a permanent reverse gear, wasting any  more drop of my ink on them would clearly be economically unadvisable. For a Country now known to be head deep in Insanocracy and parliamentum insanum, its obvious that we're now left 'Waiting for God'. 

Back to Work!

MY MOST LUDICROUS POSTS ON FACEBOOK. Vol.1, by Ehiwuogwu Onyeka

Firstly, permit me to start by emphasizing that this work was never meant to ridicule anybody's post. The writer knows too well about freedom of expression. But, if you still find it worthy to feel offended, like the great Chinua Achebe once told his abundant critics "write your own"! That said, I'd really enjoin the reader, whether affected or not to appreciate this from an objective view and take ONLY the humour intended.

This work comes from an Idi Amin perspective of the Right to freedom of expression that although the right to express yourself might be yours, what happens after the expression is not yours, and cannot be guaranteed! No it can't!

Having facebooked for almost a decade, certain posts and updates continue to amuse and even shock me. Let's see some.

 1." Pray for Boston/Oklahoma": Within 10 minutes of the Boston Marathon explosion, close to a hundred posts and tweets on the issue were placed on facebook, twitter and other social media. No doubt its a good gesture to mourn with those who mourn and pray for their redemption.My grouse with these posts and tweets is that despite a careful search for such messages pertaining to Nigerian incidents, non could be found.

 In the past decade, Nigeria could arguably be ranked very high in the Hall of shame of nations with high disasters, explosions, accidents and bloodshed rates generally.Yet, its sparsely ever seen that Nigerians put up such condolence posts on social media to show any form of solicitude to the victims.

I shudder to think that we are now used to such happenings, or we now see them as just another news? Its really sad that while our brothers and sisters in the Northern part of this country steadily receive a corpulent chunk of attacks in which hundreds of lives are lost, nobody ever comes out to post or tweet "Pray for Bornu,or Bauchi or Plateau". Perhaps some view 'white lives' as more important than blacks.This no doubt smacks of some sort of self inflicted colonialism. Or could it just be share inferiority complex that makes us want to associate and link up ONLY with outsiders, totally shutting our eyes to what happens to family? 

The simple point being made here is that the pain of disasters and deaths are the same everywhere. Death is Death. Car bombs are car bombs, fatal disasters are fatal disasters and explosions are explosions, any where in the world; whether in Baga, Southern Kaduna, Borno state or in Boston. The same efforts spent consoling the 'foreign' victims should be used to console the 'Local' ones...maybe more, because the efforts of the foreign governments towards the rehabilitation of her victims completely makes any of our verbal condolence worthless! Since the Nigerian government would hardly budge about rehabilitation or compensation, all the local victims would end up having are our messages of concern and love! Nigeria,being our primary constituency and immediate/nuclear family deserves more attention or atleast a right to first attention'.Yes, I said it!

 2."God give me a Rich, handsome, caring, Godfearing, respectful and loving husband"; Haaargh!!!This, by ten light years is the most amusing post I've ever seen on facebook. I saw this post and was almost forced to ask the lady what she then intends to bring into the marriage. Far from being chauvinistic or sexist (a man can't learn to be chauvinistic and sexist at old age), I strongly think every good lady deserves the 'ideal', 'dream man'...maybe RMD,Will Smith, Brad Pitt, David Beckham or even a bit of Michelle's boy. 

However, ladies must learn to take more reasonable and dignified steps in trying to get what they look out for in a men.I don't think Michelle, Jada or Jollie ever grovelled on the floor or took up banners like "I NEED A....MAN" to get their boys' attention. Placing such thoughts on facebook or making such super bowl offers to the whole world announces in neon lights that she's needy, dependent, desperate, immature, petty, delusional, suffering from a clinical diagnosis of mental laxity  and probably has little or nothing to offer in return to help the marriage. Its simple, if you want the Wills, Brads, Richards and Barracks, why not make efforts towards developing yourself like Jada, Jollie or Michelle and make the boys come making offers!

Knowledge about what guys look out for (ask him if you don't believe me) in women is that the desirable woman is one that subtly  'takes charge' and 'does things' with little or no dependence on a man. Nobody likes total DEPENDENCE, rather partial RELIANCE could be a strong centripetal force because it motivates the man to keep-up, as against dependence which enburdens.

Granted, its good to pray and ask God for a good spouse. But what happened to private, silent prayers in the confines of your room? The Holy Bible says in Mathew 6:5-6 that “And when you pray,you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. 

Need I emphasize here that facebook and twitter even covers a wider audience than  the synagogues and street corners mentioned by the bible?

Come to think of it, I've never seen any one asking his dad or mum for school fees by yelling it out in public or posting it on facebook or tweeter, even though such parents might well be on social networks. If we agree on the utter stupidity and senselessness of such act, then its easy to see that prayers to the Almighty God deserves more sanctity and privacy.

 Desperation,(which is what such public offers displays) puts off and maybe scares people away.Trust me, nobody likes a loud, indiscreet, undiplomatic and vociferous desperado. That's a deadly combination! 

3. "I love Rita Dominic and I can give her twins":Guess who? Mr. LKT, the diminutive 'Yahoozee' crooner. This handsome young man in an interview confessed his long standing crush/love (whatever you choose to call it) for the sultry and nubile Nollywood veteran. He went further to win vision of his procreative abilities been  displayed on Ms Dominic to give her twins. Woow!!!

 Having grown up with a knowledge of the fact that its within a man's natural DUTIES to go after a woman his heart yearns for, notwithstanding the possibilities of refusal or rejection. My question then is,Why would a vibrant young man like LKT, at the prime of his 'exploratory' years as a bachelor not take the natural step by going to say this to Ms. Dominic? Why would he cave in during an interview to state such a confession without first doing the needful? 

One would think that celebrities date and marry each other since they practically live in the same habitat; same restaurants,same hotels,same salons,same airports and flights, same high profile shows, same video shoots, occassions and events, possibly the same banks and ultimately, same or similar entertainment industry (ies)!If that is the case, chances are that LKT doesn't live in an entirely different planet from the actress. He most definitely would have seen or met her on a regular basis. Or even knows where to find her if he's so in love.So what stops him from doing what even 'ordinary, non- celeb' guys would do effortlessly and probably make her blush? 

What could possibly be my friend's impediment? Fright, cold feet or fear of rejection? I doubt so. Heey!What happened to the guy code that says "shake it of...you're asking her out, not snatching her handbag with your legs shackled".Its simple, go make your offer, if its rejected, then she has only passed the gooddie or 'baddie' to another lady (depending on what he turns out to be). But when its accepted, the joy is PROFOUND! Its always better to go through life regretting things we did than those we failed to. So, why fidget over rejection from a pretty lady like a scared cat? If she says "No", shake it off and ask Swizz beats to help you move 'On to the next one'.

 Many years of cognate experience in this field has taught me that its way easier and lighter to handle rejection from such gorgeous and 'high-on-demand' ladies like Ms Dominic than one from ladies would hardly pass for that description.The latter might make a guy ask "Am I that bad"?Leaving his ego with a protracted hemorrhage.

Hmm, some mothers really do have them!

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE; THE SNEAKY REAPER

Its Thursday the 23rd day of May, 2013 at the Delta State High Court sitting at Oleh. Handling one and witnessing another divorce proceedings, a similar string seemed to run through the cases of both petitioners "I can't continue with a woman that slaps me always because she knows I would never hit her" That triggered a thought- Domestic Violence. 

The most famous dictionary-The Advanced Learners Dictionary sees domestic violence simply as violence against members of the family. Also, Domestic Violence could be defined as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. To stretch this definition a little further, we could say that behaviors that intimidate, manipulate, humiliate, isolate, frighten, terrorize, coerce, threaten, blame, hurt, injure, or wound the other partner, also pass for domestic violence.  

Thus for DV to exist, the abuser and his victim should be family(or have a strong relationship at least) and there must be strings of violence. The most common forms of DV is wife battery, sexual assaults, verbal abuse and maltreatment.
Whether its the gory case of a certain Henry Nnadi, a dry cleaner who literally applied his ironing skills on his wife and killed his son, a girl who bathes her lover's private part  with acid for allegedly cheating, or as trivial as a woman who frequently goes on a husband insulting expedition, domestic violence has become so profuse in Nigeria that one would be forced to feel some men probably read the Iyke and Tina Turner episodes and vowed to do Iyke's role better. 

Talking statistics, a survey by Amnesty International shows that between half and two thirds of Nigerian women are subject to domestic violence in their homes. A random study conducted by the writer involving a few ladies, married and singles alike revealed the disheartening truth that almost all of them confessed to have been victims of DV at one time in a relationship or the other.

However, This problem, as much as it is arguably in its all time high is hardly ever talked about until the victim is injured, maimed or even killed. Domestic violence affects all social groups and can consist of physical, sexual,  psychological and even economical abuse. Although men can also be affected by domestic violence, women suffer disproportionately.

 This trend occurs across much of the world, but the Nigerian scenario seems worse because discriminatory laws and civilization levels compound its particularly high rates. Most potently, its prevalent culture of silence and stigma for the victims of domestic violence hinders public acknowledgement of the problem. There exists an urgent need to challenge the social prejudices and institutional structures in order to protect its women, not just from danger, but also from ridicule, fear and isolation and stigmatization. The societal burden on the victim is always so huge that it becomes more prudent to die in silence.

Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. Studies suggest that up to 10 million children worldwide witness some form of domestic violence annually. EVERYDAY in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends. Ninety-two percent of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern. 

Domestic violence not only affects those who are abused, but has its effects on family members as well. Children, who grow up witnessing domestic violence, are among those seriously affected by this crime. Frequent exposure to violence in the home not only predisposes children to numerous social vices but gives them a springboard on which grand scale domestic violence tendencies could be launched.

Let my dear reader not be forced to believe that DV is gender discriminatory. 
Despite the statistics being in favour of female population, there is also an increasing spate of domestic violence against husbands and even boyfriends. The point remains that the issue of domestic violence has always been  colonized by feminism and the idea of a male victim is utterly shameful and preposterous. Thus, in Nigeria and the world over, a complaining man is seen as lazy, a cissy or a wimpy man, while a complaining female is a victim.
Recent experience have shown that  even when many women claim to be victims of domestic violence they can often be as violent as their male partners- they've simply come off worse in a fight they may well have started in a usual fashion.
The rule against domestic violence is simply this; Domestic violence is bad, and the gender of the abuser or reason for such abuse never justifies the act.
As for abusive ladies, (as much as this might offend a few) if women are serious about being treated equally to men they can't expect to keep getting away with behaviour that most people would find unacceptable from men. A primordial and unrefined reasoning is that If a man would ordinarily retaliate from provocation to a fellow man's attack, could there possibly be any reason why his natural animalistic proclivities shouldn't push him to retaliate just because the assailant is a women especially when it puts the man's life or limbs at risk? Pain, injury and even death never inquires into the gender of  the giver.

That however does not represent the writers idea. The truth is that, like our good parents taught us, every real man should have the understanding of a woman’s weaker nature (at least physically) and he must strive to cope with the fact that retaliation to a woman’s attack  like he might a man’s, is grossly unacceptable and clearly depicts him as a half man, a monster and a disgrace to self-control.
On the final analysis, there is a need  for  everyone to be taught that it is unacceptable to be abusive  at all ,rather than determining the guilt of an abuser strictly along the lines of gender.
 Some of the reasons why DV continues to grows around the world, Nigeria in particular are as follows;
1. Relatively low literacy level-for the abuser and victim alike.
2. Poverty-most victims continue in abusive relationships because of their total dependence on the abuser and inability to survive on their own while the abuser capitalizes on the fact of his victim’s helpless situation.
3. Absence of useful laws to prosecute offenders. In the words of Zainab Bangura, on the House of Rep's approval of a law aimed at curbing DV in Nigeria, "There's no way to end sexual violence unless you end impunity." No doubt this will go a long way to prune the ever fluttering wings of perpetrators of Domestic abuse feeding of the lack of specific legislation on the subject. 
4. Absence of Rehabilitative agencies and NGOs. 
5. Victim's fear of stigmatization.

OUR RESPONSIBILITIES
In totality, the fact remains that each and every one of us owes a duty to strive towards minimizing or eradicating domestic violence in our society. It is easy o say  "its non of my business". But on the whole, its still everyone's job to ensure that the world tilts towards a better place to live in so we don’t continue to fall off.
Most people, for the most part, don’t want to be involved int the issues of others and we prefer to ignore the problem, hoping that it goes away. If you know or suspect that a neighbour, friend or family member is a victim of domestic violence – it is important to take a stand and call the relevant authorities or inform the relevant NGOs. You may be labouring under the impression that victims have a choice and if they are unhappy they will leave - and we criticize them for not leaving! Remember, victims have been conditioned to believe that they will not make it on their own and for many abused women and men, they rely on the financial support which is provided by their abuser.
Reporting domestic violence will ensure that the family that is suffering on a daily basis receives the help and counseling they need to mend and repair the damage that has been caused.If not for the victim, for the children watching. One day could mean the world of difference to a child who is witnessing the anger of their father or the difference between life and death for a woman who has inadvertently detonated her lover’s or husband’s rage.

Men who are abused by their spouses are often silenced by shame!
Women in an abusive relationship are urged to make a call and report the abuse to the authorities.

Do not die in silence or the shame of stigmatization.
Do not begin to feel its just one slap or that he'll change. Trust me, monsters don’t change! 

The world is full of fools, and he who would not see it should live alone and smash his mirror.” ―Claude Le Petit

DEPRESSION; ANGER WITHOUT MOTIVATION 
by Onyeka Ehiwuogwu 

Perhaps, my dear reader would be wondering why Depression of all topics.If so, then this week's issue is probably for you.


Depression is not that point when you feel heartbroken or very downcast because she said "No" or "Let's be friends", or " I see you as a Brother". Its is not that low financial ebb, when you are very broke and believe the world hates you because it hasn't come to your aid in a rescue 911 fashion.

Depression is when a mother of a 2 weeks old baby gives in to an urge to commit suicide by scuba-diving into the Gwagwalada River with neither a snorkel nor an oxygen tank. It is when a graduate from a certain private University in the South-East broods for weeks before he opts to dissect himself or a German goal keeper treats himself to a head-on-collision with a moving train. That is Depression!

Depression can make one's life seem painful, empty and meaningless. Simply dismissing these feelings as ‘irrational’ or a symptom of ‘illness’ is the stock-in -trade of most of us Nigerians. The Nigerian notion is that the word 'sickness' or 'disease' only refers to 'PHYSICAL conditions or depreciation in health'. 

Hence, the idea of mental  or psychological ill health is totally banished to an afterlife or to a very few rich and enlightened people. Thus besides malaria, typhoid, catarrh, pneumonia, 'jedi', etc, all other mental or psychological conditions of ill health are classified into water-tight compartments like insanity, madness, 'kolo' or control from some negative extra-terrestrial forces like 'Ogbanje' and 'remote controls'.


Newsflash! Depression is even a greater killer than most of 'our common conditions' put together. Its termed a killer because at its crest, it either pushes the 'depressed' over the edge, or makes victim of an innocent person who finds himself in the bulls-eye of the depressed.
From a recent study involving the World Health Organization World Mental Health (WMH) Survey Initiative, in which 20 centers collaborated to investigate the prevalence of depression around the globe comes this stunning facts;

       'To be classified as having had a Major Depressive Episode (MDE) a person was additionally       required to fulfill five out of nine criteria including sadness, loss of interest or pleasure, feelings of guilt or low self-worth, disturbed sleep or appetite, low energy and poor concentration. Based on detailed interviews with over 89,000 people, the results showed that 15% of the population from high-income countries (compared to 11% for low/middle-income countries) were likely to get depression over their lifetime with 5.5% having had depression in the last year".

Thus,one can reliably say close to 11% of Nigerians might currently be depressed. That being the case, it stays to me ironic how this scourge has meteorically risen, quietly, in a manner that even the very conscious and cautious among us do not notice.

Some of the big existential questions which we grapple with everyday include:
Who am I?
What is the meaning of life?
Is it possible to make meaningfully relate with others or are we all alone?

These questions no doubt constantly feel our minds and they never fail to pop-up even at the most unwanted times. Mind you, they are normal, and if you don't, please do not scream 'uhuru' yet because your case might be worse.But that’s another story.
The fact is that questions about the meaning of life are endless thoughts which we face every day and are not confined to just one person. It is a common question which we must resolve within us to set the part straight for better self realization, examination and ultimately, self-development. According to Socrates "an unexamined life is not worth living".

There are a barrage of questions plaguing the human race as a whole- famine, war, terrorism, racism, cancer, HIV/AIDS, global warming, SYRIA, devastating natural disasters, widespread human poverty, and BAD GOVERNMENT to name a few. They challenge us all with grand questions about our future and these questions we MUST answer. In the words of a depression survivor, Tade, “I just needed answers ,I wanted to runaway or achieve something bigger, but I couldn't find any meaning at all. I couldn’t find anyone to tell about my pains or share my feelings with"

Depression as I see it, is a failure or rather inability to answer or confront these life's puzzling questions as they come and as they stare us in the face. At every point in time, those questions, which remains in constant evolution, presents appropriate quizzes to us at every stage we find ourselves. Hence, it never asks you questions on issues and stages you've passed in life. No! They address your current and future affairs! 

Some think that the pain of depression can be seen as a kind of ‘signal’ for stock-taking and reassessment of our lives. At the very least, we may need to recognise and change unhelpful habits like depressed thinking and dwelling too much on issues. It may also be the opportunity to figure out how to make our lives more meaningful.
The point being made here is that what answers you give to those questions are up to you. There is no predetermined, 'generally accepted' standard or meaning to life–it is up to us to try to make our lives meaningful and become the 'right standard'. Create the yardstick for its measurement. No individual should help you answer them. Because like finger prints, different people; different questions.

 As individuals we have to find what values or goals or occupations will give our own peculiar lives some meaning. The answers will be different for everybody.
Finally, having done a little research on some anti-depression tips, permit me to suggest a few tips from my lay point of view which should help to some extent.
1. Love yourself. Become selfish if you have to.It’s called self-preservation. See yourself as too precious to be wasted.
2. Learn to talk to/ and listen to family and good friends, good friends I said!
3. Avoid brooding or dwelling too much on issues.Let it go!
4. Love what you do, or do what you love to.
5. Love people just as much as they love you. Treat love like a business- don't invest all you've got .You give as much as you get. It pays to be mindful of how much attention you show people, especially when you're not guaranteed of reasonably proportionate returns.

LEARN TO BE HAPPY

6. Learn to do 'crazy' occasionally. A little bit of crazy once in a while helps to re-assess you- your likes and dislikes. Play!
7. Try to be your mirror. Never use other people's view of yourself to conclude. Establish your standards, create your yardstick, and don’t borrow people's own. Saving the best for last;
8. Fear your God. Not some lip-service/'let them know I'm holy' stuff. Be realistic. Having a religious belief or a value system which gives meaning; being in touch with the natural world; or simply each day reminding yourself what you are thankful for.

Soludo's Intellectual Fraud vs El Rufai's Solution Of Anger And Innuendo.

Who ever invented the saying that "When two Elephants fight,the grass suffers" clearly never had El Rufai and Soludo in Mind.He omitted the fact such a fight could be very entertaining to the 'grasses and trees' watching. 
In between the jabs, DDTs, close lines. brogue kicks,shell-shocks and KO punches,these two intellectual cum political greats obviously never saw the need to be less personal and more objective in their tirades. 

Game face

No doubt, "all is fair in love and war",but not in mud-slinging or "spilling the beans" (to borrow El Rufai's diction.For anyone,whom like, me is fascinated by men who speak from the guts, he'll be quick to applaud the writings of Prof Soludo in these words: 

Contrary to his narrative, most of us in government knew that El-Rufai desperately wanted to succeed President Olusegun Obasanjo as president. He plotted and schemed, destroying anyone perceived to be potentially in his way. Obasanjo scorned him; the scheme through the PDP Reform Forum failed; and with the bid to replace Major General Muhammadu Buhari in Congress for Progressive Change (CPC) still a work in progress, it is understandable that the bitterness would find succour in a book to smear and destroy any known potential threat. 

But wait a minute.As much as I value these guttural 'Confessions of a bankaholic',what I do find unacceptable and questionable is the fact that all these 'beans' of El Rufai's were existent in the knowledge stash of Prof Soludo ,but weren't deemed necessary to be spilled  until TAPS was published, read by Prof and found to smear him and his.

The simple deduction from all this is the truth that Prof's revelation as contained in the quote is plainly borne out of personal,retaliatory,and 'an-eye-for-an-eye'motive ,rather than objectivity, altruism and true patriotism or for  'public records' as some might be moved to think.Who knows? Perhaps, there are other acts and omissions which he has deliberately contrived to keep a secret, maybe until the publish of another offensive TAPSesque memoir.. 

Turning now to Mallam El Rufai,he puts in a quick sturdy defense as such-hear him;

Still spilling the beans

"He repeats the frequent charge about my ambition for the presidency in 2007, a charge that is untrue but that is often echoed as if that ambition, if it existed, is akin to treason. Charles knows that I do not consider illegitimate his desire to be governor of his state or his current hopes to be a presidential running-mate.But he should know better than most that ambition for office is not the only reason for being active in politics. Since Charles has claimed that I ‘schemed desperately’ to succeed Obasanjo, he should please tell all – inform Nigerians what I did, who was involved and spill the beans"! 

Granted, gunning for the apex political position in the most populous and powerful black nation, with the most lucrative political offices in the world would be a sure lure for even a Tibetan monk.His perceived interest in the seat of the boss could never be seen as 'akin to treason'.Never! 
However,what baffles me is how he continues to speak of himself both TAPS and his rejoinder to 'Intellectual fraud'. The highly enlightened Mallam found it very attractive to see himself as the most, if not the ONLY honest and pious member of the  much maligned Obasanjo crew. 

Since I read Mallam's rejoinder on this issue,I have tried to practice what he claimed to have to facilitated his verbatim quotations of meetings,consultations and even private conversations.To empirically follow his theories,5 notebooks were procured by me for this purpose and shared among 4 young men  myself inclusive, with fair brains (if the WAEC, JAMB, UNIBEN and Nigerian Law School standards are anything to go by). But I must hastily confess that the retrieval of an accurate, verbatim record of our conversations with people, have been a total fiasco.Let the reader not be pushed to think these 5 men are intellectually deprived in the least. Except of course El rufai's brain is so perfect that the need for a recorder would be obviated after all. Still yet,Science has it that most details and conversations becomes vague and faint in the mind of the average human being within 3 to 5 minutes.
Thus, if Mallam El Rufai took out his note books and Diaries every 5 minutes to record his transactions with people, rumours of his compulsive note taking disorder would have sipped into our ears.But since we never heard that,then El rufai,never took notes intermittently or made his jottings several minutes or hours after those conversations!Need I tell you how unreliable and inaccurate such recordings would be?
Well,till Prof decides to hit back again,or maybe publish his much awaited book, lets continue to relish the sight of two elephants in a rumble since such scenes don't come too often.
Till I feel irked to punch my keyboard again, its bye for now.Just do me a little favour;keep praying for our Nation!