The Thing About
Heartbreaks and Earthquakes;How To Not
Die from Heartbreaks.
Did I tell you, yes, You
reading now that I've been studying
German and a bit of Russian as well? Well, never mind, since it has got
nothing to do with heartbreaks or earthquakes after all.
Only a few sights could be more
pathetic than that of a full grown man crying, or a young lady recoiling far
into her shell because of the sudden slam of heartbreak.
Two months ago, I put up a post
on facebook about how I've never suffered a heart break and wouldn't mind one. YES,
I haven't! As expected a flurry of comments came in but non struck me like that
from a friend whose view was that I had probably never suffered a heartbreak because
I had never loved. His opinion was that love and heartbreaks are inseparable, 'mutually
inclusive' of each other and that they go hand in like poverty and poor health,
a bad car and greasy palms, Jonathan
and inactions/setting up adhoc committees or Arsene Wenger and detrimental frugality.
Its is for this reason that I
now write- to strive towards establishing
that loving should not automatically expose one to heartbreak or its associate pitfalls.
One very disheartening sight
is that of a heartbroken person, even worse when the victim is a lady.
The aim of this piece is to
inform, equip as well as expose certain facts about emotions and how to avoid ,
handle or mitigate the effect of a heartbreak to its barest minimum.
The overwhelming and stupefying power of love
over us humans can never be overstated. Love at its full swing could be powerful,
intoxicating, overpowering, confusing, inexplicable, and totally blinding! Love
is such a good feeling that being deprived of it could be likened to slow painful murder. So
when we fall face flat for Love, its totally normal and in line
with the order of nature. It simply reveals the human in us and that we're not android tablets.
Like the law of diminishing
marginal returns, however, love rises to it peak heights and embarks on a
steady decline and the rate and manner at which it drops, depends largely on
the parties involved as well as the surrounding circumstances. While in some,
it drops totally till it vanishes, in others it only reduces its lustre but
remains as efficacious as ever. That is the case with couples- I mean MARRIED
COUPLES not lovers!
Back to our main issue,
heartbreaks, the blunt truth about this is that no heartbreak ever comes
without a warning.Like earthquakes, for each case of emotional crack up,
several signs are shown, which unfortunately ends up undetected by the victims
siesmometer; even when detected, failure to react accordingly. The failure to detect or act upon the detected signs has become
the main reason why most people fail to handle the 'shock' involved and in not
a few cases, they spiral way out of control.The outcome of this could be
depression, starvation, drunkenness, compulsive disorders, violence and suicides, passionate murders and even serial
killings.
Let's consider a common, yet
hypothetical scenario to buttress this point, and hope my readers get a lesson
or two from it.
In a relationship,which has
always been blissful and enviable- maybe not so blissful though, a partner suddenly
begins to display certain tendencies that were totally alien to his/her personality
and the relationship. For instance, he
becomes violent, sparsely, hardly or never calls, suddenly begins to keep late
hours outside, take long late night calls, continues to give excuses why he
could not take your call or call you back, now passwords his phones or laptops,
leaves your presence to answer a call, or when he doesn't , he responds in
monosyllabics; making a potpourri of illogical answers and incoherent words, chuckles
and quick responses , then finally says "same here" or "me
too" at the end of the call...probably because the caller/recipient says
"I love you".
Having noticed this displays,
most people are likely to become suspicious, but the the common thing is to shove
the feelings aside, since "they haven't caught him pants down yet". Very Noble
indeed! No doubt, that's a good and
civilised thought, but the ultimate end- self preservation-must not be left far
astray. While we must all strive to display a certain level of maturity and
civility, it does no harm to begin saving for the rainy day and reaffirming the
fact that anything is possible.
Granted, confrontations at this
stage might be way to early, premature and smack of immaturity on her part, and
I would most vocally advice against that. However, it simply does more good
than harm to begin to see a blurred picture of a looming end.
To liken the above to an
earthquake or volcano warning, while the Nigerian government might not budge to
relocate and protect its masses from an impending natural disaster, despite
several warning signs, the US government as we know too well, would hastily take
steps to ensure that its citizens are not caught up in the looming
hardship.That is typically the case with dealing with an impending heartbreak!
Once those NEW traits are
noticed, the prudent measure to take is to prepare one's mind for an impending
heartbreak- and take steps towards emotional relocation or adjustment at the
least. Begin to learn how to live without that person. The only inseparable
human connection known to man is a siamese twin connected by brain other
sensitive organs. Many cases abound where even siamese twin were separated-and they survived. So
its VERY possible to survive without any human. Regardless of how long it takes to come it is safer to
prepare - like the US government. Need I tell you how badly those in the
Nigerian divide suffer?If the end doesn't come, fine- You deserve to live
happily ever after.
Although, it is practically impossible to
shake it off and continue like you only lost a tooth or without feeling deeply
cut, the preparedness of mind towards the final event clearly equips the victim
with what is needed to combat such heartbreak. Nothing burns the heart more than a sudden logdment of bad
news and prolonged thinking or dwelling on hurtful thoughts. So you might as
well do your self the favour of taking the news in tiny, minuscule bits, until
the job is done. Shock kills especially when it strikes suddenly!Be warned!!!
Ps: In answer to my good
friend's comment, I dare to state that my not suffering a heartbreak has
absolutely nothing to do with 'Lovelessness' because I sure do have a Love
faculty. Rather it is hinged on the rule of notice, precaution, preparedness and
ultimately, the duty of self preservation!
DasveedAnja! Auf wiedersehen! ,Tschuss!
Sayanora...Goodbye for now.
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